In the reality of this modern dating scene, a level-headed person may be wondering, is unconditional love real in a romantic relationship or just a sentimental fantasy we create? We explore its very real possibility, how you can spot its potential in a relationship and unpack the concept.
What is unconditional love?
When we look at unconditional love and its meaning, it’s a timeless concept. It’s complete love. Love without ulterior motives or any expectations. Sounds pretty elusive, right? But let’s look at what is an example of unconditional love and the emotions behind it.
Unconditional love means there are no strings attached
This is the foundation of the concept. It doesn’t just incorporate the present them but also your prospective shared future. Things may feel perfect now but know that you’ll go through various phases in your relationship and that many of them will range from unpleasant to outright disastrous. Love being unconditional means not faltering during these times.
For example, they may start to develop consistent career issues, straining your financial positions or suffer an accident that permanently alters them and now they seem different from the person you fell in love with.
Complete acceptance
This means accepting the full you, acne and all. This level of intimacy is difficult to achieve because unconditional love means they’ve also stopped trying to change the negative traits you may have. They may still expect you and your relationship to grow but they’ve learned that the positive and negative are what make you.
For instance, you may be consistently daydreaming and perhaps miss important events, but they’ve also realized that this very trait is what also makes you spontaneous and romantic. You should be a source of pride and contentment with each other.
Forgiveness
Unconditional love doesn’t mean you’re not going to butt heads over issues now and then. Airing and working through problems and resentments building is vital to a healthy relationship or you risk bottling issues, increasing stress hormones1
But you need to express these feelings and also how to forgive and healthily move past them. This means trying to find a mutually respectful solution, that you both understand you’re vulnerable human beings who make mistakes and actively listen to each other.
Trust and security
What does it mean to love someone unconditionally and have it returned? At its core, it’s about feeling completely safe with that person. Safe to be yourself, safe about your vulnerabilities but, most of all, feeling safe that no matter what changes or how bad it gets, they’re there and they have you.
This is why many of us often associate unconditional love with familial love, particularly parents. Before finding unconditional romantic love, our parents are often the first people our instincts tell us to reach out to during bad times or when we just need unwavering support.
